glimmers

glimmers

.

keeping me

hoping/praying/wishing/dreaming

of magic

another way of being

a way home

.

but this brilliance

these exquisite colors/shapes/moments

need just the right light

at the right time

to shine

.

can we wait peacefully for the splendor?

can we trust the clouds will part?

can we have patience that the light will return and shower us with wonder once again?

.

if you’ve been wringing your hands

clenching and grasping and holding on for dear life for the colors and the sunshine of your memories,

please remember dear one that

the earth keeps spinning for you

time keeps passing and the light

is already on its way back to you

.

this may come in ways you weren’t expecting

and keep changing shapes and colors and elements

catching you off guard

taking your breath away

stopping you in your tracks

.

wow, it’s here.

the next mystery, the next quest, the next level.

shimmering in front of me

mirage and reality

both//and

.

breathless and hopeful

ready to try and fail again

ready to break and rebuild again

ready to fall and rise again.

.

.

shaking in my bed

tears on my face

hands in fists

I breathe in and

hold…

It….

In….

.

hold hold hold trust hold surrender hold hold patience hold hold hold and then I…

.

LET.

IT.

GO.

.

I am ready now.

✨✨✨✨✨

matters

this smile matters.

.

pretty sure I have never

smiled this much

in March

in my whole damn life.

.

winter was always harder for me, but this one I let myself enter the cocoon of community, found freedom flying down a mountain and practiced loving myself over and over and over again, letting friends hold my tearsa rn my laughter, hitting the mat, hitting the cushion, chanting the mantras, taking the breaths and the baths and the walks and screaming in my car.

.

it all matters my friends,

every lil piece of you

of your existence

all your choices

matter

.

all these mini quests

are just practice practice practice

and we are alllllll practicing

and practicing matters

.

we’re all in the waiting room

and there’s something here

that matters

that wants you to know

that you are doing fucking great.

.

wants you to know

everything is for you,

everything is for you

everything is you

you are everything

you contain multitudes

and all of you

matters.

diana

On the hunt
On the search for a concept
That i should always have with me

Oh to be so grounded in my own bones
That a canopy of trees could be my roof
That the wheels of a truck could be my foundation
That the blood running through my veins could be my compass and my river to follow to the sea

I long to stop the longing
For home
For someplace that’s not inside my own heart
I want to curl up in that cozy spot
Like a cat in the sunshine, fat and lazy,
Content
Present
Not wishing for any moment but this soft pillow
These warm sun rays
This stillness

So I hunt like Diana.
But eyes closed.
Looking behind my eyes
For a shimmer of light
For a place to rest.

sit in the gold

sit in the golden
sit in it all
and you’ll see
you’ve started to change
.
just as the leaves
just as the seasons
just as the earth.
.
you are the stuff of stardust and bird calls
.
your heartbeat the drum beat
your stomping
your running
careening
crashing
falling
rising.
.
proof that you’re alive.
.
that all the cosmos lined up
and brought you into existence
and you are here. now.
so what will you do?
who will you be? .
maybe you’ll notice
you’ve started to change
that your eyes are more open
and your heart is too
.
that the things that plagued you
you can hold and then plant and watch grow
.
ever changing.
ever dancing
like the leaves on the windiest day
swirling
twirling
resting.
.

hollow honey

went back to where he showed me
where the honey bees hide
where the water seems to run upstream
where I thought I was the happiest I’d ever been
.
to find this place and myself both changed.
by time and nature and a careless treatment of love
but this mountain has magic in it
I can feel her trying to coax my heart into stillness
I can feel her trying to give me her peace
.
I’m almost at forgiveness
With my toes in the moss
Remembering looking up when
the gold leaves were green
and you looked at me like I was the flower
the bee was searching for.
.
but it’s somehow better here, now,
knowing I can dive into the freezing water.
shock my system.
and emerge alive.
emerge breathing.
emerge awake.
lit up and on fire and ready to burn again.

only now is real

It’s scarily comforting

That nothing else 

Not the past nor the future

Is even reality

Just the now

The hum under my feet

As I zoom under ground 

The breath in my chest

The bass in my ears

This is the realness

No worry

No care that I have 

Matters now

Because now all I can do is sit here

And breathe and type and listen and watch

There so much going on at every moment

And yet all I’ve wanted to do is tune it out

Turn it off 

Muffle the noise and sleep

Peacefully

Without dreams of robot overlords 

Or petty ladder climbing sheep

The only stillness I find

Is in my own heartbeat 

In the sureness that one more is coming and then another until the end.

Only now is real and thank goodness

Even the past isn’t real to me

They aren’t my memories

It’s like they happened to another person

How could that person be me?

Are you done punishing yourself for someone else mistakes? 

Are you done punishing yourself for what you don’t even remember? 

Are you done yet?

Are you tired yet?

Don’t let what you don’t remember

Who you used to be

Ruin your now

Because only now is real

choke

I thought I saw the back of you

Tonight - 40th and Broadway.

A lone figure sitting at a table possibly

Kobeyaki’s last customer of the night

It’s 5:50pm

we both know that’s your lunch spot

But you probably eat dinner there too.

Variety was never your thing.

What would I have said if you had turned around.

recognition in a sea of strangers

Probably nothing

Since silence holds more power with you

Than any words I ever could have said

My words glanced off you like water on a shiny slick leaf

Being here day after day

Is like reopening wounds

That never really truly healed

Of a boy who couldn’t speak

And of what got lost in the middle

Of me trying to translate

Bile and spit and blood

Constantly clearing my throat

Trying to get all the taste of you

Out of my mouth

Wash you off my hands

And body

Scrub my skin til it turns pink and tender

Make sure I get it all off

Leave no trace of this

Fingerprint scan

This photocopy

This pixelated download

Kind Of a relationship

Ink stains my hands

But you don’t have my heart

Anymore

You gave it back to me like you were returning

A gift

That you stole

While I wasn’t looking

Or was blinded by your shifting eyes and hands

Juggling reality and authenticity with lies by omission

It’s not like I don’t miss you

Fingers grazing on skin

Running through hair

Moments shared

Loneliness stamped out

Just wisps though

Ether in a bottle

Smoke and mirrors

Because you’ve got something stuck

In your throat

And when I stop to look down it as you choke and gasp for air I realize

What’s stuck in your

Throat

Is your heart

So I said goodbye

and

shoved it back down where it belongs.

miracle

My mind gets still under these conditions

20000 or more feet above the earth

Sitting and sipping tea out of a paper up

Chilly feet

Warm heart

On my way to another adventure

It’s a miracle we’re alive at all.

A miracle that all 3 trillion cells in my body filled with oxygen and let me

Breathe

Move

Smile

Live

Fly.

Flying the miracle deepens

The miracle gets more vast

It’s like we saw the birds and said

Why should you be the only creatures who can fly?

Who can see with a third eye -

Who can soar above separateness and see everything as united

In unison

Yoga.

I want to remember in as many moment as are possible

That we are all the same

Connected.

Pure conscious energy

The same stuff that makes up the stars, planes, crop circles - makes up you and me.

Once tapped into it feels wrong and backwards to ignore it.

You can’t unknow something once you know it.

You cannot unsee  after you’ve SEEN.

There is more beauty than ugly in this world but you have to keep peeling back the layers. Peel back at the fog that covers your true self.

There’s a jewel under all that muck.

Fire transforms

Fire purifies

But fire will burn you if you do not surrender to her power.

Surrender is where it’s at.

Serenity to accept what you cannot change.

Knowledge and wisdom about the difference between pain and uncomfort.

Uncomfortable is where we grow.

Where the magic happens.

Things that are hard for me are still hard but they get easier the more I practice.

Being vulnerable is a gift but one that needs bubble wrap levels of protection and the right handlers.

Spirits who are also seeking truth.

Those who know there is more to life than a paycheck.

More to life than checking all the boxes on a “perfect” life.

More than the hustle

More than your location

More than your address.

Will leaving New York be what I’m looking for?

Is this just what happens to my cells after an amount of time?

Is it just time - to go?

Leaving seems impossible which is probably why I should do it.

I should really just stop struggling.

The answer will present itself when I am finally ready to see it.

God doesn’t give us the things we can’t handle or aren’t ready for - of this I am sure.

I believe when I can let it go and let god - things immediately start to go better for me.

The things that perplex and confuse me become abundantly clear. The more clear you can get the more likely this wisdom and light can transmit to you.

Count your blessings baby - there are more than you even know.

Believe, try, but not too hard - and receive - everything the universe is trying to send you.

🙏🏽♥️

Written 8.9.18

ganesha.

Of course you’re

Here

Sitting and guarding

The magical

Healing waters

Of the springs of Jackson and .

OM gam

I wade in

He doesn’t understand

The significance

Of this elephant

In the room

.

This god of new beginnings

Of obstacles

Of removing

Everything that lays in your path

.

Gam

Ganesha

Deity of many names

Bless my journey

Bless me as I start again

.

Remind me I am my own

Biggest

Obstacle

That all the power is in my hands

Waiting

Clasping

Causing my own pain.

.

Once you can accept

Your fate your own energy and lack thereof

Ganesha will remove your obstacles

And you will see through to a clear door

A pathway towards light and truth

Away from darkness and fear

.

Without acceptance there can be no peace

Without peace there can be no focus

Without focus there can be no enlightenment .

Ganesha shows us the door but only we can walk through it.

Crysalis

: so here it goes. 

It's so easy to forget how it was before. 

but then she reminds me. 

its something in her look. 

the way she used to worry about me. 

and how she still does, but maybe in shorter bursts. 

i hope so anyway. 

i'm slowly learning to let go

it feels like  

emotional hoarding 

like clinging to empty bottles  

though I've been sober 600 days or more

to quote ani-

and they say that alcoholics are always alcoholics even if they're dry as my lips for years. Even if you're stranded on a small desert island with no place in 2000 miles to buy beer.

and I know that she's right but it also hurts

to know this is something that can't be won

not everything is win or lose

right or wrong  

black and white  

most are shades of pale yellow and bright blue.  

Ever flickering desires   

change is constant

but so am I. 

learning to evolve. 

Pupating. 

letting go of the crysalis 

and taking flight.  

this thing.

this thing

That were trying to 

Not “make a thing”

And be cool about 

And easy and 

Open 

Is just the opposite

Now it’s a mind game

A game i cannot win

confusing texts

empty responses

those fucking grey dots

Is there anything worse 

than never getting a reply?

maybe some of the replies.

swipe and swipe looking for 

What?

something you don’t want to really 

be anything

Real

Anyway

Just someone to call when you’re lonely

When it all feels a little too fake and much

And you’ve spent too much time on Instagram and watching reality tv

This non reality in our phones has made us question the realities of our hearts.

We want to order relationships

Like they’re pizzas 

With compostable boxes preferably vegan cheese

Can you add a side of commitment issues and Peter Pan syndrome to that? 

Thanks!

Never growing up means

Never evolving 

Never growing at all

Arrested development 

Soaked in cheap beer and texts that say

hey, you up?

At hours when you definitely shouldn’t be.

It’s not that I’m being unrealistic

I don’t want Prince Charming

He kisses without asking

He assumes  

That I’m desperate for help

I cannot do this alone

When the truth is 

I can

I would just prefer to 

Share

All of it.

The dark and the light

The parts that you never talk about and the ones you want to blast into the ether. 

I don’t wanna just get to know you.

I wanna meet your ego and your intuition

Become friends with your laugh lines

Memorize your mutters and sighs

I wanna know what keeps your heart beating

What makes you light up like a kid 

I want it to be real

Real life

Real reality

I want to take care of you when you’re gross and sick

And make you pancakes on Sunday mornings

i’ll hold your hand and sob with you when we lose our parents and friends and fur babies

i’ll struggle and survive with you

all you gotta do is arrive.

cuz theres gonna be good times and bad times and elections and

You’ve gotta be someone whose

Confident enough to wear costumes

But mostly just be happy and comfortable and down to earth and denim clad

And lookin really good in a suit when you decide to wear one.

I want you to be yourself.

Your whole self - no holding back.

no instagram filters.

But you are. 

you really are.

So be real

for a minute

this thing

that’s not a thing

Is confusing

Is consuming

Has been up to you - til now

And I’m cool 

But I’m not settling for 

easy

Not settling for a

halfway

part time

casual kinda love

which is what

This.

Thing.

Was.

The truth is always the same

Don’t put yourself in a box

You can do it all

You can make a life

Beyond your wildest dreams

You just have to stay

Disciplined

In this practice

And remember nothing in nature happens

On your time

But only in its time

Have patience

Have discipline

Have faith

That god not only has your back

But she is rooting for you.

Because she IS you.

We hold all the keys and all the codes

To unlock

This truth

Its just the fog

and trance

Of unworthiness

That settles over our minds and hearts

And makes us

Forget

That we are divine

The truth can never be changed

Because the truth is the truth

The truth is always the same

By simply changing your mind - you can change everything.

So go do it.

Teach people to breathe and dance and hold their own light in their hands

Feed people kind words and nourishing food

Plan gatherings of like minded tribes to share the light

Support people through hard times and recovery

Take care - of your human and animal family

Don’t allow fear to whisk you off course

Or put you back in a box

You’ve taken it on

You know the truth

Now you can fly.

photo features @leahh_armstrong

In the Pause

I never believed in god

Until I saw her

In the pause

When I exhaled

and didn’t breathe in

Right away

-

I never believed in god

Until I felt her

Energy

shooting out of my fingertips

After dancing my heart out 

sweating at 7am surrounded by 300 of the tribe

-

I never believed in god

Until I realized

That it was

really

Just that

I didn’t believe in myself

-

Now that I can see

I cannot un see her

Un see me

-

The power

That I hold

That sits between my head and my feet

In my heart

In my lungs

In every single cell

-

And now

-

I see her everywhere.

I see god everywhere.

I see me in everyone.

and everyone in me.  

-

I never believed in god

Because I didn’t believe I was worthy

Of such a love

-

But we are not human

Having a divine experience.

-

We are divine -

having a human experience.

-

And in this moment

In the pause

Everything changed.

Humboldt Redwoods, 2018 - Mark Armstrong

polarity

It feels like time

To start 

Leaving

But also maybe it’s just 

The vibration 

Of the subway rattling my heart 

Just enough to make me think

Just maybe - it’s more her fault

Than mine. 

She’s a shapeshifter

It’s all about what you let her do to you

What you let effect you

She can have you land softly or

Throw you to the ground

What you can’t unsee or unknow once she shows you what she’s got.

If you’ve got a lot - she’ll give you more and more and more until you don’t remember what it’s like to have nothing and you lose yourself in things. In money. In the pseudo progress of the hamster wheel that spins and

Spins

Spins

And goes

Nowhere. 

If you have nothing or lilttle 

She can take you for all you’ve got

You’ll miss your bus, the subway will stall

You’ll be late 

You’ll have to skip lunch

You’ll have to rush

You’ll miss it

You'll miss out.

But then she comes back around reminding us that laying in the park under a big ol tree

IS FREE

Even if your rent is too damn high

The people who want to be here

Are the reason to be here

They

Have an energy

That can’t be contained

They

HAVE to be here. 

They 

have to be in it.

In the middle Of the world. 

Ready to create 

Ready to destroy

Ready to connect

And dance and laugh and fight and fuck and cry and sing and fall down over and over again

And

Get

Back

Up.

I’ve been beaten down, but 

I’m back.

Up.

Maybe it’s time to go - 

Maybe it’s time to finally stay. 

 

 

 

Yoga Teacher Training Application - Laughing Lotus

Here is the application that i submitted for my yoga teacher training program at Laughing Lotus. 

What has inspired you to do your teacher training at this time? How did you find out about our program?

Becoming a yoga teacher has been on my list of long term goals and dreams for several years now, but the stars have seemed to align and I am at a wonderful moment  of transition in my life and now is the perfect time. I realized over the past year that working at a big tech company and having a job with a 6 figure salary and crazy perks wasn’t going to fulfill me. I wasn’t happy, I was going through the motions. I was living life on autopilot. The moments I can say I truly felt happy and at peace were when I was on my mat or after I took a yoga class that really inspired me. This is what I want to do, I want to help people get to that feeling and tap into the best parts of myself so I can share them with others. 

How long have you been practicing yoga and where do you usually practice?

I have take many classes at Lotus both in NYC and BK and loved them all. Never had a bad class and I love the whole vibe and all the teachers are awesome - when I started to consider YTT programs I weighed a bunch of studios and teachers that I have practiced at/with and also wanted an intensive program since that’s how I learn best. Lotus fit the bill in all the ways I am looking for- a combination of an awesome flow and also learning more about the spiritual side of this amazing practice. I turn 30 and hit 2.5 years sober this summer and it seems like the perfect gift to give myself to start my next chapter.

I started at 17 when I was pretty stressed out at the end of high school and thought that it would give me a little peace but I really got into it in 2014 after I got injured and herniated 2 discs. Yoga was one of the only things that gave me relief and now I want to learn more about it so I can share that healing with others.

I have a home practice but have also taken classes at many studios in NYC, some of my favorites include:

Laughing Lotus!!! - Honestly my fave studio in the city which is why I would like to do my teacher training here

• Daya Yoga

• Good Yoga (Bushwick and Greenpoint)

• Y7

• Modo

• Yogaworks

• Sky Ting

• The Bhakti Center

• Stanton Street Yoga

• I attended Wanderlust Stratton last summer and took classes with some amazing teacher who also inspired me to do YTT - Eoin Finn and Nikki Vilella.

What is the meaning of the Surya Namaskar and why do we practice it?

This is the sun salutation practice - we practice this not only to wake up every part of the body but to access a moving meditation while worshipping the sun - the giver of all life!

Patanjali says the asana must be both alert and relaxed. Why do you think this is so?

I am excited to learn more about this, but my interpretation of this is that we need to soften into life and be ready for things that come our way and handle them with ease. You can be aware and active in     the present moment but you need to be flexible to inevitable change that is going to occur. The postures we practice cultivate awareness, relaxation and concentration all in balance with each other. 

What is Sanskrit and why do we still use it?

In the attempt to adopt and not appropriate this rich and wonderful culture and practice, The use of Sanskrit pays respect to the ancient yogic tradition that was passed down from person to person over generations. This also acknowledges that I am learning something new, a student of a new culture that is not my own. I think it is humbling and adds respect to the practice! Also using the original Sanskrit names for yoga poses provides clarity of language since we have translated things to mean slightly different things in the English variations. Sanskrit words and sounds are also said to stimulate the chakras and create balance in our bodies and spirits when we hear them and that just sounds groovy. 

Our injuries are often our greatest teachers. Explain how this is true for you.

This question resonates with me more than I would like it to as injury is a huge part of what has led me to yoga and teacher training. 

In May 2014 I was helping my ex move a bookshelf out of a uhaul and slipped and fell with the weight of the shelf and my own (not light) body almost 4 full feet right into the street.

I injured my wrist as well as herniated 2 discs in my low right back. L4/L5 on the R.

I was in level 8-10 pain for a long time and I went to lots and LOTS of doctors: pain management tried to pump me full of opioids, orthopedists and DOs gave me shots of cortisone and trigger point injections and SI joint injections and other anti inflammatories that cost a ton and didn’t even help. Sports medicine doctors and physical therapists poked and prodded me as I bent and strengthened and after 2 years of continuous treatment it was only a little better. As a last resort I went to 2 surgeons and they both said I was not a candidate for surgery- that it wouldn’t help. 

I was at my wits end - so helpless and frustrated and not really managing my pain in a good way ( I was drinking a lot to self medicate and that was causing many other problems and not helping my pain.) 

Then a massive shift happened in my life - I decided to get sober, found acupuncture, started with a personal trainer, and began doing almost daily yoga to stretch and move my body and hips - all 2.5 years post injury. 

My acupuncturist and I came up with a plan that worked for me and as I long as I kept moving and got periodic needle treatments I could manage my pain naturally and without opioids.

It works. If I move and if I focus and put intention and breath in my movements - I get the greatest relief.

This injury has taught me so much. About my self, my body the power of natural healing, relief through patience and hard work and perseverance. It taught me not every solution is good for everyone. All bodies have a personal journey and what works for one may not for another. This injury is teaching me every day the need to slow down and shake off my ego because I have limits that I need to honor and work within. 

I would love to help others learn how to work with their injuries and chronic pain and find a yoga practice that works for them.

How does your yoga practice connect you with Spirit or the Divine? Please explain.

Yoga and meditation have opened up spirituality into my life in a way that I never really could have imagined.

I got sober 2.5 years ago and I desperately needed something to believe in. Whatever my “higher power” is - O was able to tap into this spirit most while doing the moving meditation of yoga and also just sitting and breathing with a mantra.

It was mostly activity that gave me the greatest peace of mind and clarity and grounded ,e and made me really have some perspective on myself and my life. That can happen when you’re upside down. 🙂 I struggled with the traditional forms of christian religion that I was raised on and that sadly pervades the AA literature and dogma. As I grow more and more into myself — drawing from all I have learned so far and more importantly what I do not know. There is something greater out there connecting us all. When I breathe and move together with other humans I feel it. When I tap into a song or I can’t help but dance to the music because something INSIDE is moving through me- I know it's there. When I achieve the impossible crow pose or staying sober every day in New York city at 29 years old - I FEEL IT and there is no denying it. 

The more I learn about yoga, the ancient eastern religions, the power of meditation the more curious I am of what I can tap into and how I can grow more and continue to expand my mind, body and consciousness. 

Also very importantly - yoga has made me want to serve others by helping them access this peace and healing. It has made me want to share my gifts in a real tangible way and give myself to others and that sort of service seems pretty close to divine as I can imagine. I feel lucky to be a part of it.

Why is gratitude important and how do you express and share it in your daily life?

I love this question. Gratitude is an attitude. It is a way of looking at the world and it quite possibly has changed my life too. I flipped the way I was looking at the world from - "life is hard and tough and stressful and there are all these things I don’t have: promotions, relationships, success" — to: I have SO MUCH - look at how much I DO have and how much I can now give away to others. I express gratitude every day in many forms - from simple gratitude lists to calling up my family and thanking them daily for being there for me and helping make me the person I am now.

I try to share my great fortune with others and show gratitude for the universe. I stop to give tourists directions, homeless people food and money, the blind cross busy streets and the elderly carry heavy bags. I always offer my seat - because I am LUCKY and I have strong legs and am privileged to stand. I try and inspire people around me to have this attitude of gratitude as well as just flip it around when things feel bleak and dark. There is always a silver lining, there is always something to be grateful for. This body, this breath, this work of service to others, this beautiful world, and sunshine and babies and kittens and new adventures and nature and community and family. 

What would it mean to get in touch with the part(s) of yourself that are often neglected?

We’re all holding on to something: pain, fear, a relationship, some idea or experience from our past that influencers us and maybe traumatized us that can hold us back from expansion and growth. I think getting in touch with those more difficult emotions and processing and working through them, is how you can let it go and then process them to move past them. I think it also means finding those hard to reach spots in your body and muscles and breathing into all the spaces that hold tension and stress - sometimes we forget to take care of ourselves and yoga forces us to slow down, focus and take a closer look.

The most unpleasant pose for me is ______. Contemplate where the difficulty comes from and share.

The most unpleasant pose for me is probably Anjaneyasana or Urdhva Mukha Svanasana. This has 90% to do with actual pain in my low back, psoas, hips and knees. The difficulty is mostly physical but I hoping some of it is mental so that I can overcome it. I know the hips hold a lot of emotional energy and pain so I think it has a lot to do with trusting myself, others and my own body to not fail me as I deal with chronic pain. Hoping to overcome this and more through this practice and teaching training. 

What are some of the qualities that you admire in your favorite teachers?

• Spiritual

• Patient

• Great understanding of alignment

• Hands-on

• Very into modifications

What has your yoga practice taught you about you?

Yoga has shown me some of my strengths: perseverance, spiritual curiosity, openess to learn new things, creativity, fluidity, a desire to give back and share my abundance and gifts. 

Yoga has also shown me my many weaknesses that I want to work on:

Impatience: I am always expecting things to be faster and happened on my time -m yoga forces me to be IN my body and stay present so I can practice patience. Things happen in their own time.

Being hard on myself: Yoga has shown me that I beat myself up when I let myself down. Yoga is showing me to be kinder to myself and that showing up to my may and for myself first is really the best form of self care and therefor care of others. 

Yoga also showed me that every journey is different and that modifications are not only necessary for many but really better because you are finding what works for your body and your practice. I think that yoga has given me more of this self awareness and self confidence. 

Yoga is also teaching me that repetition is magic- practice makes your version of perfect a reality and that your mat is always there for you even when you aren’t always there for yourself. 

Keep coming back, it works.

The best teachers are the best students. How willing are you to be the student?

I am so excited to be a student. I am so willing to learn! The more I learn the more I realize how little I know and how much more there is to learn. I feel that I am not the person today that I was 5 years and I certainly hope I’ll be different in a great way in 5 more. As I learn and evolve I want to learn and explore new interests as they arise and come into my sphere of understanding. I also plan to learn from my students as much as they learn from me.

What inspires you to roll out your mat? Has it changed since you began your practice?

It has changed for sure - it used to be more about exercise for me or recovering from other exercise. Deep stretching so to speak. Now it has taken on a deeper meaning for me. When I roll out my mat - no matter what is going on or where I am I can find peace and some relief from whatever life might be throwing at me. It has become a happy place where I am safe to be my full self when at times I feel I have to censor and hide myself. Now rolling out my mat is an invitation for self care and introspection and moving meditation to bring calm to my life. 

What does it mean to be flexible? Please explain.

It means to be able to bend and not break when life doesn’t go as planned or anticipated.

It means laughing it off when you fail at a handstand or a crow.

It means saying the serenity prayer and knowing there is wisdom in understanding what you cannot change.

It means to let life happen and to be able to react gracefully no matter what.

It means being open to new ideas you may not agree with or be comfortable with.

It means compromise and embracing an alternative approach.

It means fluidity not rigidity.

What is Savasana and why do we practice it at the end of class?

Savasana is a restorative active resting post where we scan the body for tension to be able to fully relax and then can reflect inward. 

It honors the practice and all the movement and work you have done and allows it to sink in so you can go deeper into yourself.

It connects you back with the earth and your breath so you can focus on remaining present in your body as you leave the practice space and rejoin the world. 

Namaste.

I start my training on July 8th, 2018 and will be done and 200 hour Yoga Alliance Certified by August 3rd! So excited for this journey. <3 

5:19pm - bryant park

There's so much going on and I just want to slow it all down. 

i can see Times Square glittering and hectic from here. 

i can see a tiny brown girl maybe 2 or 3 ripping up grass and spinning around while she chucks in the air over her head cackling. There is grass in her hair - she is so happy.

That contentment. That living in the present.  

That's what I'm looking for. the reminder to stop and look around. That this is what is important right now. That in this moment this is what it's all about:

The wind on my face

the sun sparkling and dancing through the trees

the kids laughing on the carousel  

New Yorkers and tourists alike just soaking up the last rays of august

trying to remember to slow down

but not stop

starting over can be so much harder than continuing. 

more energy.  

more effort.

but it also might yield something greater

its the letting it go I want 

the acceptance that I cannot control this

okay you win but so do I  

because I can control me

i won't compromise  

I will be authentic  

I will be genuine  

I won't worry about having the respect of those who are small. 

ill have have to evolve

ill have to grow

I'll have to reinvent  

again.  

And this time.  

With a clear mind and open heart. 

Labor Day Weekend

a few days in the green hills of Vermont has me feeling refreshed and happy. I am reminded of the happiness in simple things and just taking a deep breath. seasons are changing and so am I but in my head it can always be...

endless summer. 

farm fresh 🥚 

moss covered rocks. Also ferns.  

bae watch.  

paddle time. 

mother nature is a mystic

farm to table pizza night  

brother defies gravity.  

pause.  

black eyed susans  

Last hoo-rays ☀️

It's the last weekend of summer and I'm rethinking how I want to spend every moment that still exists.  Between a rock and hard place I find the only place to go is up. 

Excelsior. 

Ever upwards.  

Evan at Routine.  

Ice cream paint job. 

Bagel lox heaven. 

Long Beach. 

Amy. 2017. 

The Yellow Butterflies

“It was then that she realized that the yellow butterflies preceded the appearances of Mauricio Babilonia.” 
― Gabriel Garcí­a Márquez

I met up with him by the carousel in Bryant Park. It was 80 degrees and the lawn was packed. Some Bank of America promotion was there and gave me free popcorn. He looked so cute walking up with his scruffy face and his grad student backpack.

We kissed. Then we sat and talked and kissed and played mancala at the free games tables. 

Magical Summer. Then we made plans for our next date on Wednesday and he mentioned how he has so little money right now, that he's cut out coffee. I offer to get him one for free at my job and he totally accepted... but first we had to go get a book at the library.

We went in to the NYPL on 5th and 40th and headed up to the foreign language section and he says we are looking for the M's in the Spanish section. It was actually under G. Gabriel Garcia Marquez. He was looking for 100 years of solitude. Cien anos de solidad. Smitten. 

We kissed in the elevator for a floor and then we we're basically stopped and frisked by the Hispanic librarian guard at the exit. She wished him luck on reading the book en español with a wink.

We walked down fifth avenue and then rode the elevator up in the empire state building - kissing for 26 floors. I could have sworn i saw yellow butterflies outside the window.