hollow honey

went back to where he showed me
where the honey bees hide
where the water seems to run upstream
where I thought I was the happiest I’d ever been
.
to find this place and myself both changed.
by time and nature and a careless treatment of love
but this mountain has magic in it
I can feel her trying to coax my heart into stillness
I can feel her trying to give me her peace
.
I’m almost at forgiveness
With my toes in the moss
Remembering looking up when
the gold leaves were green
and you looked at me like I was the flower
the bee was searching for.
.
but it’s somehow better here, now,
knowing I can dive into the freezing water.
shock my system.
and emerge alive.
emerge breathing.
emerge awake.
lit up and on fire and ready to burn again.