this thing.
this thing
That were trying to
Not “make a thing”
And be cool about
And easy and
Open
Is just the opposite
Now it’s a mind game
A game i cannot win
confusing texts
empty responses
those fucking grey dots
Is there anything worse
than never getting a reply?
maybe some of the replies.
swipe and swipe looking for
What?
something you don’t want to really
be anything
Real
Anyway
Just someone to call when you’re lonely
When it all feels a little too fake and much
And you’ve spent too much time on Instagram and watching reality tv
This non reality in our phones has made us question the realities of our hearts.
We want to order relationships
Like they’re pizzas
With compostable boxes preferably vegan cheese
Can you add a side of commitment issues and Peter Pan syndrome to that?
Thanks!
Never growing up means
Never evolving
Never growing at all
Arrested development
Soaked in cheap beer and texts that say
hey, you up?
At hours when you definitely shouldn’t be.
It’s not that I’m being unrealistic
I don’t want Prince Charming
He kisses without asking
He assumes
That I’m desperate for help
I cannot do this alone
When the truth is
I can
I would just prefer to
Share
All of it.
The dark and the light
The parts that you never talk about and the ones you want to blast into the ether.
I don’t wanna just get to know you.
I wanna meet your ego and your intuition
Become friends with your laugh lines
Memorize your mutters and sighs
I wanna know what keeps your heart beating
What makes you light up like a kid
I want it to be real
Real life
Real reality
I want to take care of you when you’re gross and sick
And make you pancakes on Sunday mornings
i’ll hold your hand and sob with you when we lose our parents and friends and fur babies
i’ll struggle and survive with you
all you gotta do is arrive.
cuz theres gonna be good times and bad times and elections and
You’ve gotta be someone whose
Confident enough to wear costumes
But mostly just be happy and comfortable and down to earth and denim clad
And lookin really good in a suit when you decide to wear one.
I want you to be yourself.
Your whole self - no holding back.
no instagram filters.
But you are.
you really are.
So be real
for a minute
this thing
that’s not a thing
Is confusing
Is consuming
Has been up to you - til now
And I’m cool
But I’m not settling for
easy
Not settling for a
halfway
part time
casual kinda love
which is what
This.
Thing.
Was.