5:19pm - bryant park

There's so much going on and I just want to slow it all down. 

i can see Times Square glittering and hectic from here. 

i can see a tiny brown girl maybe 2 or 3 ripping up grass and spinning around while she chucks in the air over her head cackling. There is grass in her hair - she is so happy.

 

That contentment. That living in the present.  

That's what I'm looking for. the reminder to stop and look around. That this is what is important right now. That in this moment this is what it's all about:

 

The wind on my face

the sun sparkling and dancing through the trees

the kids laughing on the carousel  

New Yorkers and tourists alike just soaking up the last rays of august

trying to remember to slow down

but not stop

 

starting over can be so much harder than continuing. 

more energy.  

more effort.

 

but it also might yield something greater

 

its the letting it go I want 

the acceptance that I cannot control this

okay you win but so do I  

because I can control me

i won't compromise  

I will be authentic  

I will be genuine  

I won't worry about having the respect of those who are small. 

 

ill have have to evolve

ill have to grow

I'll have to reinvent  

again.  

 

And this time.  

With a clear mind and open heart.